Tarry, Lady Aurora

tarry

Just this once, Lady Aurora *
will you delay the banishment of the night’s coverings
of sleep sojourns and nocturnal secrets?

Delay your radiating of the sky heavens
with your infinite lumens that expose angles and circles
of our daily labors and mortality.

Let me tarry in this dawn ‘tween world
so I can still enjoy echo laughter of old friends
as their footfalls grace the trails of Tantalus. **

Let me savor the fading wafts of salty air
and hear the soft hissing of the Pacific Ocean
seeping into the sands of Kona. ***

Let me wake just enough to recognize the shadow
of my dreams though I live in your light world
while I simultaneously breathe sweet thoughts of fond times.

Then I shall be ready for your warmth, dear Lady
and gladly open my eyes to greet you in song
and rejoice in hopes you bring to this new day.

 *     Aurora is the Roman god of dawn who renews herself every morning and flies across the sky.

**   Tantalus is a wonderfully whimsical mountain on Oahu, Hawaii.  It is said to have been named after the Greek god who, always thirsty, was punished by being placed in a pool of water. When he tried to drink, the water receded.

*** Kona sands grace the west coast of the southernmost island in Hawaii.

Photo taken in the summer dawn in Harmony Park, Trophy Club, Texas. 

One More Forever

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There will be time enough for mourning, dear loves
for confessions of regret
and eulogies of breath and stone

But for now
caress my brow and tired arms
and comb the tangles from my hair

Lean in close and listen
to the spirit voice deep in my heart
I have things to tell you

You moored me in your harbor
when my voice echoed
in rooms that housed only shadows

You wove me into your tapestry
of delicately fine threads of friendships
and the colors of laughter and love

You let me share the warm companionship
and unconditional loyalty
of the loving dogs you master so well

There shall be time enough for loss, my neighbors
but only after we embrace as always
for one more forever

To Sit in the Shade

Let me just play on the beach for now
And one day I promise to save the world
Or at least don a First Communion veil beneath your stained glass
And win the spelling bee in the fifth grade of parochial privilege
And fasten the first college diploma to our immigrant family tree

Let me just bathe in the sun for now
And one day I promise to be June Cleaver in a pink business suit
Or at least know how to debone chicken for the perfect roast
And find the perfect stain remover for rainy day sleepovers
And keep the light low as I complete my report while you dream

Let me just sit in the shade for now
And one day I promise to be the complacent white-haired matron
Or at least the gracious dame who forgets old trespasses
And recall the generosity of generational patriarchs
And bequeath the wisdom of womanhood to girls who play on the beach

Meditations on Jellyfish

Jellyfish intrigue me. They are invisible in their translucency.  They glide without care, and typically eat plankton and shrimp that happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I fancy myself a jellyfish of sorts.  It’s usually when I want to be invisible and harmless, only having to deal with that which crosses my path.  It’s usually when I am most desperate for the simplicity of drifting with life’s currents. 

I’ve been a jellyfish for several months, away from my usual haunts of relationships and interactions.  This blog has had no new entries for almost a year, my personal journal entries are few and eons between, and I struggle to post personal things on any social media. 

I used to consider this self-imposed exile as cocoon-ing, but that implies sitting still. Stationary I am not.  For many months, I’ve been traveling to Hawaii for a project, sometimes twice a month. It is not a particularly difficult project, nor is it easy.  It involves helping a client make a major change to the centerpiece of its 1,100-acre project.  If made, the change is irrevocable in the foreseeable future.  If done right, the change will bring unprecedented opportunity for the Hawaii .  The change pleases many, angers a few and intrigues the business-minded.  While the fundamental change is set, the process of evolving to the chance is still being defined; hence, my discretion in identifying the project and client.

I am retained to help the client, but the how, when and why of my consultation are sometimes unclear.  In fact, there have been times when I feel extremely out of sync.  Nevertheless, rather than force my views, or rail against what seems contrary, I did something out of character.  I chose to wait and see and I might best help.

In this waiting, I have become . . . a jellyfish.  I learned to move with the current, to migrate when necessary, to beware of predators, to accept sustenance that happens to be in my path.  I also strive to be transluscent.  I seek anonymity, and shy away from socializing, scrutiny and visibility.  All this so that my senses are heightened to what I need to do to help.

I think it takes confidence to wait and listen.  Some call it faith – if I listen well, act accordingly, what needs to happen will.  Others think of it as fear – should I not boldly proclaim and insist on my vision if I believe in it?  Still others consider me lucky – it’s a good thing I didn’t screw up before this. 

Whatever it is, my jellyfish existence has been prudent. I am currently able to contribute skills to the project team, at least for a few months.  I have learned to be more tactful, constructive and productive, a better team member hopefully.  I learned that, on one hand, I’m not as good as my self-advertisement purported.   On the other hand, I’m better than I feared in my night sweat awakenings.  I can live with this balance.  Quite comforting, actually.

Back to the jellyfish.  In reality, they are not passive or simply gliding through life.  While they capture algae, plankton, and shrimp that drift through their space, jellyfish also have a defense mechanism that attack predators and capture larger prey with their painfail sting.   They heed tthe moon and tide to know when to drift closer to shore to breed; they long to survive.  And though they may seem invisible, when the ocean currents conjoin our two worlds, the elusive jellyfish hover near swimmers as their tendrils seek to sting bare apendages. 

So I suppose that there’s always the option to sting if threatened.  But for now I prefer to glide.  Perhaps some waves will bring me into shallower waters where sunlight illuminates my membranes and I may catch a glimpse of you.